I’ve really gotten into the habit of detailing exactly where I may be when writing to you, my shy dove. As that builds consistency, I make no exceptions for today’s post. I’m here again at Absolutely Productions, in someone else’s desk working as a part-time office p.a. The sun shines in on my face and I’m happy to say I live on the west coast. I’m getting a cupcake today from a famous cupcake bakery that is going straight in my mouth. No stops, no detours, no weird curvy backroads…just full speed ahead (65mph or whatever the legal speed limit is) into the house of my face. My face-house.

When I think of the holidays I only think of a few fucking things. I try to keep these fucking things to a traditional minimal so as not to overwhelm my seasonal senses. I really do enjoy the part of the holidays that allows not only me, but everyone to repeat the same traditions and give the same gifts to their loved ones every single year. That’s right, your two left and right ears heard me correctly. Big Whoop! I give the same gifts to everyone I know year after year. That’s intentional Sonny-Jim. Why waste time on shopping, that’s not the fucking point of the holidays is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Well Is it? Huh? It? Ist? Didn’t quite think so, did I? No, I didn’t…Did I? Did i? Di…oh youuuuuu!

Anyhoooooch, here’s a list that comes to mind when I think of the winter holidays (chrimbus, chanukah, n’years, my pappy’s b-day)

Home Alone 1 & 2, Scrooged, Christmas Vacation, Irish Coffees, David Sedaris’ “Holiday’s on Ice,” Double Socks, Family,  Fireplaces, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas,” and Matty Chrismast.

When I get my cupcake, I’ll toast it to you. Oh and toasts… I associate toasts with holidays. All holidays.

Who wants to go sledding!?!?!